The Lonely End of a Dynasty

"From attachment springs grief. From affection springs fear. For he who is wholly free from these, there is no grief there is no fear" -Verse 213/214 - Dhammapada

I never ever thought that I ever need a girlfriend.... or a wife. I thought that friends were everything. So what if you dont have a girl who you can love or loves you. So what there is no person to accompany you and comfort you?

I always thought friends could serve just the same function. Friends, money were my top priorities....... they still are.

When I was fifteen, I thought that love can never be forever. I had the naive thought that true friends are forever. I had a best friend then. He did everything with me. Play arcade, watch movies, gossip eat shop.

As I slowly grow up into the world of darkness and moral grey areas, I realise that friends are also of impermanence. My best friend and I drifted apart and hardly contact each other these days. In fact, never.

Still I didnt think that love was important. I had other friends to accompany me on life's journey. Life still was going on. I am making more and more money by the day. I was happy.

But now I face a very big problem. When I went into the army, I knew this would become my biggest problem. Friends with girlfriends.

I could understand why people put their girlfriends as top priorities. I dont feel angry. I dont blame them. They after all are possibly going to spend their lives with their girlfriends.

But I could see my friends dwindling. Everybody seems to find somebody dear to them. I have less and less people to go out on weekends. Everyone seems to have other priorities during festive occasions.

This Christmas and New Year, I hope they will never come. I dont want to spend these days at home watching channel 5/8/U.

Smart aand wise as I might be, when it comes to love, I know nothing except for the theories. I still dont wanna love. Sociology taught me that I am being compelled by society to do so. Though my brain tells me that this is a smart move to go out now and look for love, my heart tells me it is not my priority. Not at all

I always love to watch/read accounts of great dynasties coming to an end.

I know when my dynasty come to an end, I would be lonely.

There will be a lonely end to my dynasty.