A New Person . Turn Over

Being focused on your own problems make you have a very narrow scope of life. You become inward looking and loses sight of everything and everyone else..... As my friend Natalie puts it, my dictionary only has 'me' and nobody else in it......

Or others might say: In my opinion, the world revolves around me.

Honestly, I am not like that in the past..... In the very far past....

Something happened in late 2006. Since then, I have been very busy fending off my problems and fending for myself..... As observed from my blog postings, my life perpetuates a progessive but seismic shift from a look towards the outside world to a careful and deep examination of the problematic life I have.....

From then, more problems arose..... From one event led on to the other..... I got so involved in reacting to all these changes that nothing else seemed to matter more.......

Fear turned to emo, emo turned to depression, depression turned to selfish.

How scary is the change.....

And it was painful..... Because while I wanted my Absolute Soul Field to grow, it shrinked even further....... People broke through to my innermost soul easily

But time proved to be the best medicine for any damage taken..... Somehow, all my injuries evaporated silently yet gradually with time......

And with some guidance, patience and reminders from people, I stepped out from the dark clouds of the past......

I become somewhat outward looking once more.... I have come to realise that by focusing on other people, you become less inward-looking. You heal, you become less selfish.... You become more concious of the presence of other things and people......

And it provides an escape to your own problems, albeit a temporary one......

Looking at other people strengthened my Absolute Soul Field. I can feel it..... Nobody broke through anymore......

I hope I can continue to be outward looking.... to look out for people.... to think for people first before thinking about myself......

Like my friend Karin, who is truly truly altruistic. Whatver she does, she always think about others first......

I want to stop starting sentences with 'I', I want to stop finishing sentences with 'me'.

I want to be a new person.

Turn over.

Forever Enthralled

Long time no see......

For the 1 millionth time since the inception of this blog, I am wondering if anyone is still checking my blog regularly for updates.....

Haha.

Thank you to faithful readers..... Been abit too busy.. Maybe soon I would go back to regular updates, when my life is much more interesting than Lab and endless pipetting, incubation, washing and mixing......

If you are still visiting, maybe you are forever enthralled by this blog... That or you are just pure kay poh. HAHA

Been up to nothing much lately.... Just school and my final year project is taking up MOST of the time..... Got so many movies to watch but really really no time.... Gearing up towards finishing my FYP and thesis......

The only other two things I do besides boring school work is just attending lessons at DB (which is like more lessons) as well as watching TV......

Actually attending lessons at DB is not like school classes.... I think they are more interesting, more fun and more possibilities..... Invoke thinking in me that Molecular and Cell Biology has never got me to, build my character in a way that Science would never be able to.....

Not to say Science is bad for me.... It certainly taught me not to be afraid of failing.... To be able to tolerate losing and failure......

Yesterday finally got to watch 'Forever Enthralled' by Chen Kaige.... Not a particularly great film...... But loved the english title.... Cause I think it truly reflects the love that the China Chinese has for Mei Lan Fang and their attitude towards him..... Forever Enthralled......

Okay. Hope will finally have more interesting things to update soon.......