Fat?

Saw my ex-classmate from JC just now in the lobby after yet another fustrating biostats tutorial

Didnt recognise her because she became much thinner. Just a side point: I think her boyfriend quite ugly. I thought she had more high class taste than that.... Maybe the guy rich? Or just damn nice like me?

Anyway she seemed much more friendly than last time. I remember I used to have the impression that she hates my guts out.

But she so chatty now. And damn friendly. Guess people do change. I didnt expect her to call out to me anyway.

One of the many things that she said was that I put on weight.

Then I was like "Er.... okay." then proceed to laugh awkwardly.

Die already. Did she said I was fat?

Hey hey guys can get damn insecure about weight also. I dont want to be a fatso.

I dont wanna join the club where I have slammed their members over and over again

Must go on a super big diet event with major exercises.

Off we go. Oh shit, now raining outside. Thannk goodness I am in cosy lecture theatre attending lecture. All the more better to sleep

Haha

The Neighbour

Got one auntie who is my neighbour.

She stays at the 11th floor while I stay at the 6th.

Last time she use to be very nosy one. Because she got maid and one grown daughter, she always walk around in the void deck, inspecting the neighbourhood, directing the bangla to clean rubbish and talk to other people.

I always try to pretend not to see her. Or make a detour so not to be dragged into her endless conversations about my life.

For awhile lately, I never see her anymore. I didnt think much about it and considered myself lucky.

Then the other day I saw her at the bank outlet beside a coffeeshop. At first I thought it was just a stranger that looked like her.

She didnt look anything like the neighbour I knew.

She was very thin, eyes sunken, and had black patches all over her body. And a injured lip.

At first I hesitated to greet her because I thought it was somebody else. She then smiled and said hello and quickly walked by.

I was quite shocked because she looked quite hideous. I thought she had a car accident or something like that.

Later I found out from THE Exploding mom she had nose cancer for a few months.

We all from Blk 225 go through stuff together. Though we never really let each other into our real lives, we pretty much were there together when all the big and small things happened, happy and sad.

Thats why when KR asked me if I was going to move house in the future, I replied yes but I wouldnt sell my current apartment.

The place really holds too many memories for me.

Selling it would be equivalent to losing most of my memories.

Famous ANUS Ideas

I dont get it. All ideas come from the brain.

But when some ideas come out, they sound like they come from brainless people.

Maybe these ideas came from the anus. Just like "Famous ANUS cookies" fresh and piping hot from you know where.....

Haha

That day was reading the Sunday Times. I loved to read the forum page everyday to see what sort of stupid complaints or brainless ideas that people can come out with.

You will be surprised to find out that not only Singaporeans can come out with the most ridiculous ideas. Even the ang-mohs and other expatriates say stupid things some times.

But nothing beats this.

A woman (duh) wrote to the Sunday Times to "BAN HANDPHONES ON MRT AND BUSES"

Ban is the keyword here. Her reason for suggesting this was because many unruly teenagers (you know which groups right) play their handphone MP3 on the bus and MRT for everyone to hear.

Then she said many people talk very loudly on their phones. So can ban or not?

Another famous ANUS idea, fresh and piping hot released from the RECTUM.

Dont be ridiculous. In this society or any other developed one, time is money and we need to communicate quickly and at any time to get things done or money exchanged.

Banning handphones on public transport is equal to paralysing the economy. Dont be stupid. People talk loudly because there is a lot of noise or background noise so the other person cannot hear us.

Then there are some uncles and aunties who are deaf what. Thats why must talk super loudly. Some just very kind to share their conversations with us.

As for those unruly teenagers (you know who right), why not just ban them all together from public transport? They are very irritating anyway.

Last time no MP3 phones they talked loudly and shout and block the pathways. Now MP3 phones to share 'crazy frog' music. Even if you ban the phones they find other ways to irritate us one what.

So the better idea is to ban people below 21 to take trains (GOSH I am SO BRILLIANT)

I wonder if the public transport people bother replying to the woman or not. If I were the authorities I wouldnt have bothered.

Our freedoms here are quite limited already and yet there are people trying to make life here more restricted. If we really ban handphones on public transport we will be the laughing stock of the world and also the butt of many jokes in years to come.

No more anus ideas please. I am going to write to the newspapers to ask for banning of ANUS ideas.

Haha

Taxi Rah-Rah

Stupid taxis.

They dont come when you really need them. Then whats the point of having taxis around?

Today was late for lesson as usual because keep fighting losing battles with the Z-monster.

So rush down to take a taxi. No taxi insight.

And Singaporeans are damn funny one. When taxi fares rose last month or last last month, they complained so loud that Malaysia and Indonesia can hear them. Even the ang-mohs and the academics couldnt help but comment on their complaints.

Then people predict less taxi trips, leading to a drop in profits for drivers. And drivers kao-peh say they sure more poor thing one.

For awhile it is true. It was very easy to take a cab during the 9 -11 slot, where last time it is always so difficult

But hor, complain complain complain, in the end today I went to take a taxi. No available taxi. LAMPARD all the taxis were taken up by people. Every taxi has people on it.

I guess everybody figured out that actually it doesnt really make a difference even with the fare hike

Singaporeans loved to complain upfront. They dont think whether they really will get affected or not. Just kao-peh first at every small thing they have the opportunity to do.

Then after that continue doing what they do even though they unhappy. No wonder we are the ones that came up with the phrase "Lan Lan Suck thumb"

And Singaporeans really loved to eat. Humble pie they eat. Their own words they eat back after they complain.

So leh? Taxi service is still so poor. No taxi when I want it... In the end take train. Some taxi uncles are just stupid also. Just wanna cheat your money.

And dont even get me started on bus and train services.....

Imagine how long I laughed when they came out with a blueprint to make people take public transport. Good luck and all the best with whatever ideas you have.

The King Returns

King of sambal football Ronaldinho returns to the top with 2 goals to help Barca win the match against whoever that was

Whew relieved to see him scoring again.

Thought he will never come back again

Shall we have an ENCORE please

Great Teacher KT (GTK) 1

Here comes Great Teacher KT

O levels and A levels about to start soon. About two more days and it will explode into the faces of those poor students.

As GREA-TO Teacher KT I must do my part to help all these poor students locked in an endless battle with information, knowledge formulae and numbers.

And what greater way than to tell a JOKE for everyone to destress, major exams or not.....

Wahahahahaha!

Here goes:

"What did the sea say to the shore?"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Nothing. It just WAVED"

Get it? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wahahahahaha?

Those who think it is a good joke please tag my board with the word 'clap' and your identity.

To my O and A students Glenn, Sharmagne, Sheryl, Sarah, Enrique, Desmond, Shujun, Grace Sardi, Suherman, Harsono and Tze Hui:

All the best for your exams. I have faith in you all because you all are trained by me.(haha) You all represent me so please do your best and not forget those things that I have taught. Any questions please call me or MSN me. I know all of you will get a good grade because my students never failed to improve.

The rest, Le, Jody, Yun and Vera please study hard for the next year.

Take care everybody and see you again

The Exploding Mother

The whole day I was uneasy.

Knowing THE exploding mother for 22 years, I know she will sure explode when she sees me.

So I was on my feet the whole day. Prepared carefully on my would-be reply. Decided the exams will be my perfect excuse. But the probability of her exploding is high.

Exploding seems to be her hobby when things happen, big or small

Then just now when I went into the kitchen I saw her. At first her back was faced to me. Then I said something. She still didnt look up.

Then I scooped rice and said something further. I thought she saw me. But she didnt explode. I thought she decided she was not going to make a fuss out of it.

I thought I could get away with it. So sat down for dinner in the living room.

Then I think she saw it carefully again for the first time.

Then she exploded. At first the TV covered her. But I knew I couldnt stop it becaus explosions cannot be covered easily.

She dashed into the living room and started making a fuss. Gave her my well prepared answer. She exploded again. Mumbled something about it being my choice. She walked away, talking loudly about some thing.

Then after awhile, I could tell she still havent got over it. She asked me again about it. Just ignored her.

I think I am going to hear about it for a few more days. She can go on about it. Thats the most annoying part about THE exploding mother.

Hope it ends quickly. So that I can have a peace of mind and ears.

Pit Stop

Went eating yesterday

Tired already stop and rest. Go to the pit stop and recharge.

Another one of those fun place with cheap food and nice surroundings. But damn ulu.

Next time I bring you all there.

The fun part is to catch the aunties that push the trolleys to get the right food.

And not all the aunties carry the food you want.

So you pounce on them before they move out of your range.

Then tuition with TH

Then came the green tea bladders joke.

Was telling her that whenever I drink 'pokka green tea' now I will think of ZH, YX, YL.

Thinking of their bladders filled with green tea as well.

So when drinking green tea its like drinking from their bladders. 'YUCKS!'

Then TH laughed like mad.

In the end she have to come back with a stronger one.

"Then somemore the colour the same right?"

Then she laughed somemore.

Tattoo-ine

Damn 'beng' tattoo that fades.

Just like memories....

Thats why we capture things on photos.

To remind us of the past when our memories fade

Quote

"This is a world of have-nots. Not haves" - K.T. Ho (1984 - 2006 - ?)

He said "Help me pack my memories in"

One week can learn alot of things actually.

This week alot of things happened.......

Regretfully, nothing that alcohol can erase, though I tried hard at it.......

So in the end I am defeated......

At first I thought I was bouncing back yet again. I thought there is nothing that I cannot recover from. Within the span of 6 years, I have battled against all sorts of odds yet stayed alive.

For awhile, I thought pneumonia was going to kill me because it stubbornly refused to go away.

Something happened, but nobody bothered. Except perhaps a half-hearted attempt? But still I managed to brush that aside and continue on.....

By thursday I felt better already. Though still drinking but I manage jokes and I got a new tattoo by friday just before I left school.........

But yesterday night I saw something. Actually I wanted to paste it here to explain all these drama stuff. But decided against it.

Its other people's happiness. I shouldnt build my misery on other people's happiness...

Whatever I saw smashed my recovering heart into another thousand pieces. I am an idiot, because it doesnt seem related. But to me it did.

An large and beautifully built house on no foundation is destined to collapse.

I need to leave now.我需要走了

Go on a long journey. 去远行

Not physically. But mentally...... Before all this drives me insane. 精神上的旅程

The old Kiantong is going off for awhile.以前的我要走开

In place will be just a indifferent person.暂时由一个随便的我代替

It might be awhile.可能一回儿

It might be a month.可能一个月

It might be a year.可能一年

It might be forever.可能永远

But I need to go. This is a world of have-nots. Not haves.

Might be too DRAMA for you. Might be laughable. Might be a attention attraction exercise.觉得是笑话？煽情？

Doesnt matter to me.不重要

So long.再见

I might just come back someday. 有一天可能我会回来

第二主角： “他”

"他？"

他最勇敢，天大的事他都可以撑着。

"那他呢？"

他太强了，我们跟不上。

"所以把他锁在杯子里？ "

太辛苦了。他离开一下比较好。

"他不在，所以你懦弱？"

不。我不懦弱。

"不懦弱就不会退缩。"

"不懦弱就勇敢放下。"

"你连自己懦弱也不敢面对？"

"到底几时才要诚实？"

诚实是痛苦的。

"越是痛苦，越要勇敢。"

"你需要他"

我并没阻止他回来

"他不愿回来？"

生活太心狠手辣，他吓跑了。

"你太懦弱了"

随便你们说吧。反正现在谁说什么我都无所谓了

"想放弃？"

不知道。有分别吗？随便吧。一切都无所谓了。

"为什么不要和"他"一样？"

我就是我。我就是我自己。不可以成为他，以后就找不会自己了。

"喜欢自己？"

不。我恨自己，恨自己懦弱，恨自己骗自己，恨躺着的自己，恨痛的自己，恨放不开的自己。

"讨厌生活？"

随便吧。都无所谓了。

"很想“你”？"

是的。

"跟“你”　说吧。。。"

不可以。

"为什么？"

我不想伤害“你”

"太傻了。简直像个白痴。"

随便吧。都无所谓了。

"还在逃避。。。。"

是的。不知几时我失去了"他"，所以逃避。

他不在。我撑不下去了。

六十个小时。五十加仑的血。一个断了的头。一百八十分钟的快乐。。。

"他"在哪里？

躺着。痛

一直躺着。

不想起身，所以躺着。

起不了身，所以躺着。

一直躺着。躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着。

还是躺着。

不知会躺到几时。

会不会有人拉我起来？会不会自己起来？

躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着。

痛。

好痛。不知为何痛，但是好痛。

好痛好痛好痛好痛好痛好痛好痛。

吃药不痛？心病吃什么药？

痛。

好痛。因执着而痛。因懦弱而痛。因愚昧而痛。因爱而痛。

“万事皆休，何来痛苦”

你懂吗？我懂。可是办不到。哪能说放就放那么容易。

不容易，所以痛。

“其实你只不过是个懦弱的人”

“你说你有多坚强，那是骗人的”

“真的勇敢，就会放开”

放开是逃避，所以不能放。

“那是借口”

“你抓得紧紧的，不是面对，只不过你什么都没有了”

你撒谎。

“杀吧。你就算把血都放干了，你都没办法抹去事实”

“我们怎能真的消失？这是不可能的”

“所以你继续生活着”

还是痛。痛到躺着。

躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着躺着。

躺着。痛

孤单的天空

今天是假日。

但并不是我的假日。没得休息，只有往前。

又再一次踏上全日补习行程.......

虽说不是第一次承受满满的时间表，但今天特别不想出门。心情太沉重。。。

补习时段有人陪伴，但其实我是孤单的，因为学生并不会理你的心情，他们的烦恼也很多。。。

在一课和另一课之间，没人陪伴，更是孤单。路上找音乐作伴，静静的坐在巴士上。。。不是找不到人说话，而是不知该和别人聊什么才好。自己也并不想说话，何必逼自己。。。孤寂的旋律。。。听了更是让人感伤。。。

不知觉中来到‘爱人’的地方，可是并没有温暖的拥抱，也没有温馨的蜜码，只有冷漠的寒风。

‘爱人’不是相爱的人，是暗恋的人。

没有其他选择，只好咬紧牙根，带着难以平复的心情离开

你知道我有多想你吗？

老套，但再也没有更简单的一句话来形容我的心情了。

向学生家前进。。。想逃，想跑，想呐喊。

走在排屋之中，辽阔的天空看起来却是那么灰沉。不是烟雾，只是天空和我一样孤单。

不是没朋友，只是大家暂时没有办法取代

前世必定杀了人家的爱人，所以今生过得那么坎坷。。。

又是一个秋天，又是一个没有结果的秋天。

秋天有童话

请问我的童话在哪里？

NeoPrinter

Today got four crazy kids ended up in my house.

Actually only one crazy one. The rest all normal..... just lame.....

Was glad because hanging out with them brightened up an otherwise boring humdrum sunday....

Didnt do anything special either. Just ate alot of finger food and drank green tea. Lotsa lotsa green tea........ One and the half bottles finished within 3 hours. Haha..... think green tea bladders

Then had a relatively normal dinner which we brightened up with lame jokes and stupid stuff..... Its not the place that is special. The things we do are........ So cliche Haha

Then went to play arcade..... for the first time since june with DaeGekLeng...... Did stupid things like played kiddy basketball. Then someone cheat on Daytona. How people cheat on Daytona? Dont understand....

In the end take Neoprint. Can you believe it? Me taking Neoprint...... Haha. The last time I took Neoprint was Sec 2 when I was 14. Eight whole years. Woo hoo~

Cant believe I do such things but I still did because I think it is fun to be young again.....

Haha. more neoprints in the future? Or eight more years before I take the next one? Will I still be taking neoprints at 30 years old?

Will you take with me?

Death Wish

Today went to watch death note with ZH,YX,YL,YS,HT and SOH TH

I enjoyed the show. Everything was well thought out and executed, sincerely presented just as most japanese products....be it cars food anime or films

But there were quite abit of problems with the pacing of the narration. Uneven because some parts are not as tight as it should be while some parts slacked abit too much

Every bit of the show was typical japanese detective merge hero-anti hero manga genres that has become so characteristic of the manga world. But there is nothing wrong with sticking with your identity if it defies the style of your film and it was well done

Layering of the story was seemingly solid and brainy, but only deceptively so because the issues the film deals with only being touched on surface and never explored to full potential.

But the predictable plots twists and the weaving of light hearted moments into the gothic-ly grey show make the show watchable and enjoyable.

Therefore 3.5 stars

Then went Long Johns with the bunch and talked rubbish and ate. Funny stuff follows

Anyway after LJS we decided the night is still young and a group of us bought some drinks from seven-eleven and starting drinking in the open public.......

Talked secrets, more rubbish and gossip. Then I suddenly took one empty bottle and say I was going to release a genie and we should all make a wish.......

Made that impossible wish. I think for it to come through I must sell my soul to the devil. But made it anyway because who say we cannot dream about things

Make a wish today and I hope that one little wish will come through for you.........

Gehirun Helpline 1

From today onwards, I decided to dish out advice regularly to all other people with big problems.

This blog is a brainy blog and I am so brainy, it would be such a sin not to share my intelligence

If you all got any problems that need my help, you can ask me privately. All identities will be kept a secret.

Today the first person I want to help is England's football manager Steve McClaren. So my topic would be

HOW TO SOLVE THE LAMPARD-GERRARD CONNUMDRUM (insert cheesy music)

Now one of the biggest problems Steve McClaren has is to solve this problem properly. Well, LAMPARD and Gerrard are very similar players with similar strengths and similar styles. But there is no point deploying two such players into midfield.....

So how to solve this problem. Whoever can will lead England to win what they want to win....

1) Quit being England Manager. Must be very capable to deal not just with players but media and WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends) Must win power struggle with powerful players and so many mah-fan things to do.... Quit lah. Luiz Felip Scholari can do it. Not you

2) Play 4-4-2. Gerrard on the right, since Benitez plays him on the right midfield in Liverpool. Play Joe Cole on the left. Owen Hargreaves as holding midfielder and LAMPARD can marshall the midfield.... Aaron Lenning can be substitute. Carrick defender at the back. Beanpole Crouch and Rooney at the front.

Perfect! Maybe I should be the manager. Haha

3) Learn from Singapore. Get Ronaldinho to be English citizen. Then proceed to remove LAMPARD or Gerrard.

4) Break one leg of either LAMPARD or Gerrard. Then you only got one choice at a time.

Teacher got say you must listen, is that clear?

One interesting observation. If one Singaporean bookie be England manager, then LAMPARD will keep thinking the manager keep calling him....

But actually not..... WAHAHAHA! Get it?

Haha

Amazing Dad Part 2

The last time the amazing dad came into the picture he surprised me with a horrible meal..... Wondered how he can keep raising the bar for the most unhealthy and disgusting dishes in the whole of Yishun, Clementi and some say Sentosa......

From then on there was still the unhealthy dishes, the disgusting stuff and total lack of creativity on the dining table.........

We still talked minimally. Our relationship has never been very good.... No it is not bad. We are okay, but not so close like what other people have or like on TV.....

Different ideas. One born and bred in China, been through the war as a kid, been through ultra-hard times seen on Chu Lu while the other is completely modern Singaporean with the wide view on the world and a ultra-weak mind...

Maybe different, so cannot talk properly..... After all, he left us to go overseas to work for quite a number of years. 10 to be exact.....

Today he left for China. A relative has cancer and being the man who takes care of the family, he has to go back to see them......

Before he left, we had a short talk. Was rushing for lab session and he woke me up......

Asked me to talk to my sister for failing chinese.

Ask me if I wanted tea......

Ask me to collect our newspaper while he is not around

Ask me if I had money to spend.......

When I left the house, thought alot about my dad. For the first time since I was born, I actually stepped into his shoes and thought about his life.....

I probably be dead by now if I had to go through what he did....... Anybody who been through war wont have it easy anyway.... Shuttling between China and Singapore..... whenever you leave, you part with one side of your family...... Many many other tough stuff......

And recent years he never shows any emotions for what he goes through... Not when he is sad.... not when he is worried, not when he is angry.... but I still can roughly guess by the number of sticks of cigarettes he smokes

Then I was uncomfortable for the whole day.... for some reason......

The Amazing Dad is really amazing. Not just any Amazing dad. It is THE Amazing dad.

Since I was a kid, always have been quite emotional when he leaves for a foreign land...... Just surprised even now so as an adult.......

I guess he always got the ability to make me feel sad when he leaves for his real homeland.....

He is indeed amazing.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Wonder if anyone knows what's Neon Genesis Evangelion (NGE)

It is from this manga/anime series that I learn the german word 'gehirun'

Which means "brain" in german.... The title of this blog came from it as well....

So impressed with the rich storyline that my thinking was influenced heavily by it for a while.

One of the most intense and strong study of human nature and grey areas of morality..... What's between good and bad? Can anyone be bad in order to be good?

Quite disturbing and uncomfortable because got quite alot of violent scenes...... but loved it anyway....

Shaman King built up quite well. Really loved it at the start but let everybody down with an ultra-stupid ending.

Going to watch Deathnote soon...... Hope it will be good.......

Hope not a waste of time.......

And thus the rest of the movies I want to watch:

The Prestige
THE DEPARTED
The Black Dhalia
Little Miss Sunshine
Talledega Nights

Anyone who wants to watch this movies feel free to call me........ Not going to watch another movie alone since The Banquet. Ultra harassing experience

Slow Lorrises and The Brainforest of Clementi

There is a type of animal called slow lorris. Not sure why is it called slow lorris. But in my world I use it to describe people who are really slow such that they block the world from spinning.

In the Brainforest, there are many slow lorrises. Mostly females one.

They walk in the middle of the road, block everybody travelling on the road, walk so slowly that people behind them slow down as well.

To these people, normally I will just smack my feet on the ground hard to create noisy footsteps to inform them that the road doesnt belong to their grandfathers.

And most of them move aside to make way for the GREAT Kiantong Express (CHOO CHOO!), who rushes around Brainforest as if he going to die tomorrow.

But some people really dont get the idea. Especially female slow lorrises in NUS. They group together, help their grandfather buy the road and just stroll along, talking loudly and laughing. Even when you inform them there is a STAMPEDE behind they will just still stroll in the middle of the road....

To those people who move aside: Thanks. But dont keep blocking the road. It wastes alot of energy to slow down and accelerate again, not to mention annoying

To those people who decide to be HINDRANCES: FUCK you lah! You all got nothing to do doesnt mean the rest of us also what. Brainforest is not a FUCKING PARK! Want to stroll go park lah.

From now on, I got a good mind to hold a knife in front of me whenever I walk. Then those people block me I will just walk very close and then "OPPS, sorry" When they collapse I will just trample over them. Call it a twisted version of obstacle clearing.

The lifts in Brainforest also like damn slow. They move so slowly that THREE YEARS pass before the lift reach you.

Today was taking the lift down a building. In a rush to get some stuff done. Then during one floor, the lift opened. Two girls were standing outside and they stood there talking even as the lift open. Then they slowly stolled in.

To these girls: you can go and DIE already. You all so young act like old ladies walk so slow. Faster go and die.... Come, I help you.

Some of us are in a rush you know. All these slow people stop preventing the Earth from rotating!

Maybe can write to the newspaper with Caption: "Thousands of Slow Lorrises sighted in NUS"

Maybe like what DaeGekLeng say: fine people 500 dollars for blocking people

Haha

如果你还爱我

For all heartbroken people in the WORLD

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了　我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过　也许对于你来说　已经没有什么值得回忆

我带着一颗沉重的心走了　我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过　但是对于你来说　已经没有什么值得回忆

难道早已注定　不能真正拥有你　难道我真心付出一切　是为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道　你不敢对我坦白　是不要看到我的伤害　虽然你没有说要离开我
我早已看到你不在属于我

如果你还爱我　你不会对我如此的冷漠　又怎会让我在　漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我　你不会对我如此的冷漠　我只能含着眼泪　默默的离开

..............And then there was a headache

I really couldnt remember what happened yesterday. Everything seems like a dream, including the dream I had yesterday night.........

Even the blog post I thought was a fragment of my dream.....

And then there was headache when I woke up.......... It felt quite horrid...... I was feeling even more bitter than the past few days.....

So I lied in bed for a very long time....

Refused to get up....... Or rather just couldnt get out...........

How come suddenly I am leading such a pathetic life?

If kunhua was here you will probably say I am cheap right? Haha

Then went to get two EXTRA-STRONG panadol and a cup of coke....

Panadol and a cup of coke can cure a headache...... What can cure my heartache then?

I realise these few days I made alot of people emotional just because I very agitated as well..... (When did all these nonsense start anyway?)

I made people cry with questions that I had for a long long time....... Tsk Tsk Tsk! So bad of me.......

Want to thank a few people and say sorry also.........

SOH TZE HUI

Thanks for everything in the past two days. Nobody talk to me for very long already. Not in HuayGuan. They dont bother, but you did...... And you made me open my heart for the first time in a long time..... So thanks. And sorrie you had to cry because of all the questions I asked. But I think its better this way. We had been silent all these days..

YONGLIN

Thanks and thanks. I dont know how we managed to click.... But I am glad because I had so much fun with you all over the past three weeks..... And you and Tzehui listen to me and my questions........ Really appreciate it..... Sorry for making you emo when you are agitated already.....

ZHENHAN

Thanks and Thanks. I didnt expect you to offer so much support when I need it... Nothing else should be said because no words can express anything. I will be here for you too, dont worry.

For the above three, more taxi trips home together I hope.... Dont worry I will pay........

YUXUAN, HUITIAN, YIHAO & YISONG

Thanks for all the fun...... you guys are cool to hang out with...... I will always remember TCC at Nafa....

YIHAO

Thanks for the car trip home. Oil prices can kill, but you still did it...... And sorry for wasting abit of your time with my singing and nonsense after Qing Gong Yan... Please Dont get angry......(SOH TZE HUI, get your daddy to read this part)

................. And then there was a headache.

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

Got alot of thoughts about today........

Alot of things happen again......... Talk about two chinese waiters first.......

Today went to qing gong yan for "Zhou Chu" at Spring Court.... Because we were in guest room so got two special waiters to serve us.... They are china guys.......

Did I mention I watching "Chu Lu" on Channel 8 these days? Watching those immigrants go through such hard times made me feel sympathy for all these immigrants..... I use to dislike them because they made Singapore become very different and depleting resources everywhere....

My point is, at the end of the banquet, I went over and put 10 dollars into one waiter's pocket..... Now restaurants got one rule: When waiters receive tips they must hand it over to the company. I know that rule very well.... But I keep telling the waiter to divide the money and keep quiet... Keep asking him not to hand the money to the boss. Maybe I was drunk....... At the end I added one line to him "你们过翻来应该不容易啊." With that I left the waiter.

I think he think I damn weird..........Dont know why so emotional these days also....... I guess Chu Lu is so good it got a strong effect on me........

Yeah was damn drunk... I vomitted in the toilet two times. The first time I didnt lock the door and Fulai Laoshi saw me..... So embarassing.

People say I damn no control and damn stupid...... Why drink so much just to feel so miserable?

Yes it feels terrible to be vomitting....... Its quite miserable to be drunk...... The headache is quite unbearable..... But no matter how bitter it is, it beats the misery of reality and of life.....

It is even more miserable to be sombre and aware of what is going on....

"千杯消愁愁更愁"

The rabbit saw his carrot....... it was at the other end of the field....... no mattter how he ran.... the carrot seems further than before.......When the rabbit became tired, he stopped.... At the moment he realise the carrot will never be his

People say there is a reason why people dont stay who they are....

People say there is a reason why people dont stay where they are.......

Huitian says my blog is pessimistic....... I am only pessimistic on my blog....... In real life I am much much stronger......

强到天大的事发生，我都可以一笑置之..........

I practically laughed away all the bad things in my life........... I already forgot how to cry......

"很想化成隐形的人，掩饰我的泪在翻滚"

Baby sometimes Love just ain't enough......

Whats the point about this posting again?

Friday the 13th

In case you all haven realise, it is friday the 13th....

actually I got alot of thoughts about today. Quite many things happen..... But I think nothing bad......... Thankfully

Enough bad things have happen to me in the past five months......

Went to Brainforest of Clementi at 6 am in the morning.... In case you all still dont know, Brainforest of Clementi refers to NUS.

While on the train, saw this super-fat guy. He is so fat I think I can hide behind him and not be seen. He is three times fatter than DaeGekleng..... Haha... The first thing I think of is why his parents let him eat until so fat.... Store so much food which could have been for those starving kids....So unfair.

The next thing I noticed is that he was falling asleep and leaning against a frail looking uncle. The uncle looked so worried...... The fatso must be very heavy and the uncle scared will crush him... Not say I discriminate against the fat.... Its just that the guy should have been more considerate to those sitting beside him and not lean towards them and squeeze them..... Made a mental note not to sit beside the fat guy......

Later in the evening saw this mother buying tako pachi for her fat son while I was queuing behind her. The son so fat and he is just a boy...... I think this is called drowning your kids with love.... You could have literally kill them in the future.....

Made another mental note to myself not to shower too much love on my own kids. They become too weak, like kids these days...... Made them undergo a tough childhood so that when I am not around to take care of them, they will be able to rough it out on their own....

Went with TH, YX, ZH, YL and HT to minds cafe. But there was some bad planning and we didnt get a place.... In the end after much fustration, quarelling and tantrums, we settled ourselves at Nafa TCC.

Said something which surprised myself. They were all very low and I suddenly said "Its not the place that is special but the things we do that make the place special"

In the end quite true.... TCC was nothing extraordinary, but the things we did together, the things we said made the place feel special. Now that TCC will always be special to me....


Something clicked today....

Too many people reading my blog.... So some stuff say in code.......

" The rabbit saw the carrot again..... but the carrot will never be his......"

Finally

Finally I say goodbye again
In the most silent way I can ever do...............
Any louder I might cry
Cause I yearn for my desired happiness...........

Why will you
never be part of reality........
Cause there is nobody else
I want more in my world......

Why am I boring people with details of my life again?

200

Yeah Yeah!! I have reached my 200th blog posting. This calls for a celebration... Maybe there will be a mini blog birthday party banquet soon

Better than THE BANQUET. Haha

I think it is time for a lookback.....

August 2005 - Gehirun.Blogspot.Com was born

From then, the blog lifespan can be split into three faces.

1) The Angsty Face

Complain complain complain. In this side of the blog, thats the idea of the blog postings. From our superstar idol to the fat kid in the NUS, I practically dished everyone or complain about every possible thing there is to complain.

Very angsty and whiny. Like a container pot of angry steam waiting to burn anyone. At one point became vulgar

But since this year 2006 started, this side of the blog have mellowed out because I started to concentrate on other things. Maybe because really getting older thats why calm down alot. Not as aggressive as last time.

If I continue like angry man, then I will be like Hong Kong Bus Uncle, which I am not hor. (DaeGekleng stop saying that hor)

2) The Philosophical Artistic Face

Lessons on philosophies of life and reviews about movies and tv shows and theatre productions. A wide ranging and informative topics form this dimension of the blog. Have talked about everything including Three Kingdom strategies to love and hurt to alcohol

Started giving out blog awards last year to blogs of aesthetic and artistic values. Just for fun but quite pro as well. Haha

Continue to review shows and movies and whatever artistic things that I can understand..... But in a less boring way and more easy going style...... Newest addition is my twisted stories, which are here to stay because people find it funny.

3) The Emotional Phase

About the emotions experienced in daily life. Sad feelings are dominant in recent postings, as there are many unhappy things that happened in the past six months.

Soften my life and cushions the bad things that always seem to happen at free will.

Look out for more happy things as I will start to focus more on happy things. Will probably add picures to liven up and colour the blog. Make it less boring.....

Thank you all my readers for supporting me through these 200 postings. Hope you all have a happy time in future accompanying me through the ups and downs of life in this blog.

Cheers!

Fun & Funny

Yesterday met up with YL, TH, ZH and ZR and brought them to 'Minds Cafe'

Played and played many games..... Zeus, risk, taboo, charades and a fun drawing game. Laughed and laughed because so many funny and stupid things some of them do.....

The whole session was so fun and funny. In the end, YL keep saying we must go back, with even more friends.

I found it quite strange that I initiated the meeting. Being a relatively anti-social person, I only go out when people ask me to... But somehow, I asked first....

Maybe I am finally starting to open up to people that are not the closest around me.

Maybe I need more friends now that I am older and lonelier....

Anyway I didnt regret going out with them. They are all so much younger than me.......so unrestrained.....so high......... and the energy just revitalised me........ It was as if I was YOUNG all over again......

I guess I finally stepped out of my shell.....

They Rock

Fei Yu-qing and Stefanie Sun rocks.

Last time I used to make funny puking voices when I hear Fei Yu-qing sing.... thinks he is so Cheena and old school and uncool.

He can sing no doubt, much better than many singers nowadays. But his presentation was so weird to me.

But somehow, Jay Chou was able to make him look cool in Jay's new album, "Still Fantasy" Seems so cool to have a old Cheena man sing a cool R&B song. It gives the song a new interpretation. If Jay Chou sang it alone I think it will be another one of those so-so songs.

Maybe Fei Yu-qing should get a modern man like Jay Chou or someone else to make his new album. I will be the first to buy it. Okay not the first, but I will buy....

Fei Yu-qing rocks.

Stefanie Sun rocks too.

Her songs accompanied me through some of the most bitter years of my life. Whenever I hear her songs, it brings back so much memories...... Not to mention she was the first one to get me to appreciate music better with her wonder album: "My Desired Happiness" which remains my favorite album all these years.

The best thing is that I manage to get her 4-CD compilation with 100 page photobiography and DVD. Whopping 50 dollars. But was well worth the price.

Hope she will produce better stuff in the future.

They rock......

I Am Just A Piano Teacher.

Yesterday watched the latest play by 'The Finger Players'

Titled: "I am just a piano teacher"

Directed and scripted by Oliver Chong, rising full time artist of TFP.

The story is very simple. Most importantly, it stays focused and real so it is a solid story. The best part is that it contains ripples of dark humor. My favorite.

Lighting and music design was wonderful. Designers surprised us with new stuff...

Set design and use of puppetry is again very creative as well.

And it comes at a very cheap price of only 20 dollars (student price, exclusive of sistic charge)

Tomorrow still have two shows at 3pm and 8pm. At Drama Centre.

Do support if free.

Thank you very much

Jiantong's Twisted Stories: Road Runner

One day there was a queen rabbit. She could run very fast.....

Then there was a king rabbit.... He can run very fast too....

One day king rabbit met queen rabbit. Queen rabbit loved king rabbit quickly. Not many could have resisted king rabbit's charm.

She decided she wanted king rabbit for herself. He decided he will never love queen rabbit no matter what.

Then he decided to run away from her totally. Run the fastest he can. Queen rabbit decided to give chase. She said she wanted to die trying if she had to. Of course nobody expected her to die. She didnt expect it as well. It was just an expression of determination that people use.

She ran and ran. Finally she could see the king rabbit ahead of her on the road. She ran somemore.... She was just 2metres behind the king rabbit. Then one metre. Then fifty cm, then.........

A car ran her down as she was at a T-junction. She didnt catch up with King Rabbit. But her blood and brains did because they splattered out of her when the wheels went over her.

As she closed her eyes, she smiled. She got two of her wishes.

She died trying.

She knows that King Rabbit will forever be stained with her body parts

Bittersweet Dream

No school today.....

But would rather have to school....Because being alone at home can be quite peaceful yet quite lonely.....

Especially when I had a bittersweet dream and keep thinking about it....

I realise missing someone can be so hard.....

U think about the person from day to day. Work serves as a distraction.... but he/she can pop up in your mind anytime and anywhere.... And when you just think of him/her, you wonder what he/she is doing... You just wish you can see the person immediately...

Everyone is vulnerable to emotions, even such a cynically bright person like me. Haha

Yesterday I dreamt of that person again. I will call this much beloved human 'X'

Actually there was alot of people in the dream. But I was quite happy to see X.

It seems like such a long time since I last saw X. The whole dream I felt so sweet, yet a tinge bitter because I somehow felt it was not so real.....

The last image of X in my head was that we took a taxi together. After that I woke up.....

When I found out that it was all virtual, the same old emotion of bitterness came back again...

Back to more alcohol tonight I guess..... so that I will be deeply knocked out in the night

Alcoholia

When I was a primary school kid, I like to drink Milo. I thought it was the sweetest drink in the world.

Then when I was in Sec 1, I kept drinking soft drinks. Because when I was young, my mother wouldnt let me drink soft drinks.

When I was Sec 4, I loved bubble tea. I thought it was the nicest drink in the world. Can drink up to 6 cups a week. Go cafe drink. Drink at 'Quickly' and 'Happy Cup' Damn happy to drink milk tea and eat the chewy bubbles....

Then when I was in JC, I bought ice-blended coffee from Starbucks and Coffee Bean all the time..... Thought it was damn cool to drink expensive coffee. Like some grown-up adult......

Up to when I was a army man, I liked sweet drinks.

Nowadays I drink alcohol like water. Almost like I was an alcoholic.

After a fustrating tuition lesson, buy alcohol and drink on the way home.

If I return home late, drink cocktail wine from the fridge and eat chicken wings while watching TV in the dark..... Like some uncle. Haha

Alcohol is bitter. Right to the heart.....

I wonder if adult life had made the bitter taste of alcohol seem tolerable.

Maybe because being all grown-up made the bitter drink taste sweet.... The bitterness of life far surpasses the terrible taste of fermented sugar anyhow.

Now I understand why people like to drink something that will make them feel so terrible.

It makes them feel better in real life.

What an irony.

The Banquet

Stupid. Really stupid.

Already got people tell me not to watch the show. In the end still went. I guess because curious or wanted to see if this one was any better.

Too much money. Too much time.

Really is waste my time. The show was quite boring.... Too much eye candy. Not much meaning.

Why directors dont understand eye candy will never replace a strong plot? No matter how much beautiful sets there are, how many beautiful costumes or how good looking the cast is or how magical the martial duals are, in the end still need a story to consolidate all these aspects as well as give them meaning.

Not that the story very weak. The story is okay but the great aesthetics emphasized the story's weaknesses.

I am starting to think Ang Lee will be the only Chinese director to ever get an Oscar for a Chinese Film.

Damn disappointed with Zhang Yimou and Chen Kaige. Supposed to be autuers. In the end sell out to the westerners.

Wake up wake up, all of you. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon did it with just a strong storyline and good acting. The sets were normal, the clothes were normal. The telling of the story is special.....

Anyway martial arts films are not the only type of films that Chinese can make. No wonder angmohs think we all can walk walls and use swords to settle our differences.

And stop using Yuen-style martial choreography. From 'Matrix' to 'CTHG' to 'Fearless' to 'Bulletproof Monk' the fighting is beautiful to look at but getting tiring because it starts to get repetitive. Kick-punch-float. Slash Slash flip. Punch Punch jump kick walk wall fly and punch then kick.

Get my point? Its tiring.

Just like 'The Banquet'