Left Out

This festive season, I feel left out of a lot of things.

Left out of christmas celebrations. Like nobody to celebrate with.... Everyone is busy with this and busy with that.....

Christmas eve I will have nothing on.....Zzzzzzzz..... Then I only have one event on Christmas.... and that is lunch at a Peifang laoshi's house..... And I am not even sure if I will be attending.

Blah blah blah.... Why everyone out of country?

And then New Year also like not many events. Like only one.... And that is to go drinking with Tze and Lin.....

But I feel most left out of Singapore's strong economy growth and progress........

While the country keep reporting better and better times, I keep asking how come my family is not included in the better times......

For awhile, it has been a rumor...... I keep hoping it does not happen.......

But in the end, it has been confirmed...... My father lost his job.... AGAIN.

So while Singapore get richer and richer, I feel stagnant.... I feel my family become stagnant..... And unlike other families where there are only one child, my family have three......

Sian......

I feel angry at my parents.....

But I know I shouldnt.....

The only conclusion that I can draw is that I am very determined that I will never have a family in the future unless i am rich....

Rich beyond my wildest dreams....

I dont want to drag my children down......

Nor do I want them to drag me down....

As simple as that......

Forget it.... Don't talk about it again..... Everytime I think of this I feel a strong surge of anger in me..... Which I am pretty sure will eventually hurt someone which I don't wish to hurt.......

Left out.

Left out in the Christmas cold