Gehirun Helpline 2
Hey, the brainy brain is here to help people again...... Whoo hoo~ (cue cheesy music for helping people)
Today I not going to help anyone in particular but a group of people called couples
You see them everywhere, especially on trains and buses. They like to perform PDA (Public Display of Affection)
They kiss and hug and touch (OH SO SWEET) and do whatever disgusting things they can to show everybody they are so in love. (And then years later, they break up and HATE each other's guts out, HAHA!)
So today, my advice to them today is: "HOW TO PERFORM PDA PROPERLY" (cue cheesy music again)
1) Bring plastic bag big enough to cover both heads. Then when you want to kiss or exchange saliva or wash your tongue, you can cover your heads with the plastic bag and then proceed. Carrefour, NTUC, IKEA and GIANT provide such plastic bags
2) Bring blanket or super big piece of cloth. Block of one corner of the train, cover the area with the cloth and do PDA. You can even have SEX (~woohoo) without people knowing. Just dont make noise.
3) Place a loud MP3 phone under the seat of a old lady or old uncle. People will be more annoyed with the elderly instead of your PDA. They might even prefer your PDA to the loud mp3 phone.
4) Look out of the window and SHOUT very loudly: "AIYOH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY HUH? WAH LAU SO POOR THING!!" People will all dash to the window and look out for the interesting thing. Less kaypoh people will also look in that direction. In this case you can also have sex if you really execute the move properly. Just make sure you can finish before they turn their heads back
For those people who are determined to stop PDA, I also got advice for you.
1) When they kiss, help with the audio complements. You can make kissing noises for them to let everybody know they are kissing. They wont mind it since they do PDA to let people see what.
2) You can say things like "Mmmmm, 不要吗!! You very bad leh." Japanese is fine too if you are well versed in it. "Yamateh Yamateh! Sony Mitsubishi Sanyo Toshiba Tako Pachi Corrochan Wasabi"
3) When the train jerk, pretend to bump into them. The best is to collapse the both of them and knock them out. Permenantly also can. Just make it look like a freak accident.
Thats all for today
Today I not going to help anyone in particular but a group of people called couples
You see them everywhere, especially on trains and buses. They like to perform PDA (Public Display of Affection)
They kiss and hug and touch (OH SO SWEET) and do whatever disgusting things they can to show everybody they are so in love. (And then years later, they break up and HATE each other's guts out, HAHA!)
So today, my advice to them today is: "HOW TO PERFORM PDA PROPERLY" (cue cheesy music again)
1) Bring plastic bag big enough to cover both heads. Then when you want to kiss or exchange saliva or wash your tongue, you can cover your heads with the plastic bag and then proceed. Carrefour, NTUC, IKEA and GIANT provide such plastic bags
2) Bring blanket or super big piece of cloth. Block of one corner of the train, cover the area with the cloth and do PDA. You can even have SEX (~woohoo) without people knowing. Just dont make noise.
3) Place a loud MP3 phone under the seat of a old lady or old uncle. People will be more annoyed with the elderly instead of your PDA. They might even prefer your PDA to the loud mp3 phone.
4) Look out of the window and SHOUT very loudly: "AIYOH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY HUH? WAH LAU SO POOR THING!!" People will all dash to the window and look out for the interesting thing. Less kaypoh people will also look in that direction. In this case you can also have sex if you really execute the move properly. Just make sure you can finish before they turn their heads back
For those people who are determined to stop PDA, I also got advice for you.
1) When they kiss, help with the audio complements. You can make kissing noises for them to let everybody know they are kissing. They wont mind it since they do PDA to let people see what.
2) You can say things like "Mmmmm, 不要吗!! You very bad leh." Japanese is fine too if you are well versed in it. "Yamateh Yamateh! Sony Mitsubishi Sanyo Toshiba Tako Pachi Corrochan Wasabi"
3) When the train jerk, pretend to bump into them. The best is to collapse the both of them and knock them out. Permenantly also can. Just make it look like a freak accident.
Thats all for today
posted by Kian Tong at 12:07 PM
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